This story is about a conversation overheard on my trip to Saugatuck, Michigan in May of 2018. Two men where walking around the small downtown and all I heard was, “We are on the same boat, Bob.” This one liner has turned into a character that my Fiance and I do occasionally called Bob. He is usually looking for where he parked his boat. His accent is Indian/ Afgan.
Two men walked the streets of Saugatuck, Michigan looking for their boat. Darkness had come and the two lovers couldn’t recall where they had docked it, if they had even docked it at all. Saugatuck was a small Lake side town with little boutiques filled with rich tourists. The town was a sort of yacht club for the well off.
Trust fund babies spent their summers leisurely sailing the shores of Lake Michigan and after they docked their boat, they would spend their nights in Saugatuck. The town boasted its friendliness towards the LGBTQ community, as one could clearly observe in the Saugatuck Gazette’s front page story. Bob and Rasheed were both rich entrepreneurs with extravagant lifestyles. They rarely had to worry about financial issues. The night they lost their boat was one they would never forget.
“Have you seen my boat, Bob,” Asked Rasheed.
“No, I have no idea where we put it,” Bob replied.
They searched Saugatuck from top to bottom. Bob and Rasheed spread out. Bob took the bottom, like usual, and Rasheed took the top. As Rasheed pounded his way through the top of Saugatuck, Bob gracefully searched on his hands and knees. Rasheed noticed that the top was too large, so he slid his way into it slowly. Bob was having a hard time taking it, but eventually he started to feel better about the bottom half. Bob could hear Rasheed let out a yelp so Bob braced for impact. Once they finished their search, they figured they should look for their boat.
“Where is my boat, Bob?” Rasheed asked.
“I don’t know,” Bob replied.
“We have looked all over Saugatuck and we haven’t even a hint of where my boat is, Bob. If we do not find my boat soon, Bob, I will have to call my father,” Rasheed said.
“Now, we don’t have to go and do that,” Bob responded.
Rasheed’s father was a leader of a large group of important people in Dubai. Bob knew that if Rasheed called his father, he would have to explain his relationship with Bob. Rasheed’s father held extremely anti-homosexual views and telling him could be catastrophic for Bob. Bob remembered that they had first ate dinner at The Butler when they docked. He suggested they go look there.
When they arrived, the restaurant had long been closed. There were many boats docked for the night and they couldn’t remember what their boat looked like. The water was beginning to grow restless and the clouds were embracing the shores. They had to find their boat soon or risk being stuck out in the storm.
“My boat, Bob, where is my boat?” Asked Rasheed.
“Search this Marina, it has to be here, Rasheed,” Bob replied.
The men came up on a strange looking object poking up from the waters. It looked like their mast. It was painted in lime green with a hint of red and purple. It was too dark to see through the water, but if they could, they would have saw the rest of their boat.
“Oh God! My boat, my boat,” Rasheed exclaimed.
“Calm your dick,” Bob replied.
“My boat does not float, what kind of boat does not float, Bob? My boat. My boat does not float.” Rasheed said.
“It will be alright. I can use my account to buy you a new boat,” Bob tried to reason.
“My father will kill me, Bob. He will say that he cannot call a man whose boat does not float his son. He will tell me about my six brothers and their floating boats. How their wives are not men and that they all sail on their boats they haven’t sunk. Bob, I am doomed,” Rasheed said.
“We don’t have to tell him, Rasheed,” Bob said.
“Oh yes. Yes, we must tell him. I cannot be a boatless man and a liar, Bob,” Rasheed said.
Bob, noticed something from the corner of his eyes. He could see the mast, high in the sky with the three unique colors on it. From that, he could see the rest of the boat, sitting properly on top of the water. Floating. What they had saw was the reflection in the water.
“Rasheed! Look! It’s your boat!” Bob exclaimed.
“Yes, Bob. Rub it in. I have seen my boat, just as you. Sitting on the bottom of the lake,” Rasheed said.
“But, Rasheed,” Bob said.
“Bob, you always run around saying, we are in the same boat. Always saying that, Bob. You always say we are in the same boat, Bob. But, are we Bob? Are we in the same boat? My boat is in the bottom of the lake, Bob. And where is your boat, Bob? Sitting high on the water, floating, probably. Bob, we are not in the same boat,” Rasheed said.
“Rasheed, if you would stop being such a whiney stubborn ass and looked up, you would see what I am seeing,” Bob said.
“I see that boat, Bob. Turns out our paint job on the mast was not that special after all. Who would have thought that someone with the same idea would dock their boat right next to ours? Oh well, it doesn’t matter, my boat is no float,” Rasheed said.
Bob smacked Rasheed across the face. Pointed to the boat and made him look. Rasheed finally noticed that it was his boat that Bob was talking about.
“I am sorry, Bob. I guess we are in the same boat,” Rasheed said.
They got in their boat and slept through the night. Rasheed and Bob never did mushrooms in Saugatuck again.